The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
zippers are such a cool invention
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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