Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
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Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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