i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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