tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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