stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
