i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
