It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
