your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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