You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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