your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
