I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
