i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
