I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
