im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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