My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
