sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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