your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think my tv is drunk
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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