how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
