I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
God, I missed his penis.
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