Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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