I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Randomize
