ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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