Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
