(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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