Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
