Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
