kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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