I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
