Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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