im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
