Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
