I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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