So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
