Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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