there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize