Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
