True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
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You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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