Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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