If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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