when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize