I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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