no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Boobs are out for the taking
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
