I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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