she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
