Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize