everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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