u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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