Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
