please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize