Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
