I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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