Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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