I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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