Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
