nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize