Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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