I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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