Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
