I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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